.watch the waves crash over me.

sometimes i feel really confused.

but i feel so sure.

any confusion, any doubt, any anger or concern - it's artificial. temporary. imagined. it never lasts a fraction of the time than the underlying happiness, passion, and intensity lasts.

sometimes in our weakness we let the artificial overcome what's real, the things that make us randomly stop and catch our breaths, when we didn't even know we were thinking about them.

and maybe i'm finally starting to understand that. it's learning how to peel back the layers that build in the midst of confusion and uncertainty and fear. to know what is at the core, and be confident that it's always there.

feelings don't ever really die. we just lose them. and forget how to feel them. people never really die, we lose them. and then we forget how to see them.

or maybe we never take the time to learn in the first place.

it's because we're human. the universe never intended any of us to be perfect. or to know what's right all the time. or to know what's right for anyone else. we were never supposed to know where we should be, what we should be doing, who we should be with. we're just not supposed to know what's next all the time. nothing's supposed to be easy.

if it was, none of this would mean anything.

know your rocks. they can be anything you want, but really know them. it makes the layers of grime and mold and dirt easier to deal with. and easier to peel off and wash away.

i'm not making any sense.


xoxo.m





---
in regards to myself UNDEROATH

you're staring truth in the face
so come on down
what are you so afraid of?

you're busy living now, aren't you?
you're busy making vows
you're coming unglued

time is shorter than you know
i know the light is blinding to the naked eye
so why don't you take steps away from being alone?
i swear, it's not too late for you

it's all worth reaching for
the hands will pull you out

wake up and step outside of your box
---